Hey guys!
We're so sorry it took as so long to get back to the blog. This year was a lot harder than we anticipated and the work load was just too much for us to have time to write stories, even though we wanted to.
We're starting the new long story in the summer so you don't have to wait for new chapters for ages, but keep your eye out on our twitter account for any updates!
Anyways enjoy the story!
Lots of love xx
***
The pain in her stomach woke her up; it felt like someone was trapped inside her and was trying to slice her open with a knife to escape. It would have caused any other person to scream at the top of their lungs, but not her. She was so used to the pain now and she knew screaming wouldn't help, it would only waste whatever energy she had left.
The night was silent, the only sound that could be heard was the low humming and occasional beeping of the machines that were attached to almost every part of her tired body.
Her weary eyes inspected the room. She was surrounded by white tiled floors and a white chipped wall. Her mind ominously drifted away; she wondered who occupied this room before her and what their fate was. Did most of them leave their body in this room, their souls drifting away on a silent night like this one? Or did all the medication that was pumped into their fragile bodies help them heal and go back home to their families?
Family! How did she forget that her daughter was spending the night with her? She slowly looked over to the couch on her left and there she was, sleeping soundly.
She remembered the day she had her like it was yesterday, but at the moment it felt like a very distant memory. She was heading to work in the morning and her husband was trying to convince her not to because the doctor said she was due any day now. But she was stubborn. Halfway through the day, while she was standing in front of the class, she felt the pain and she knew it was time. She compared the pain she felt then with the pain she felt now, it was amazing how the same thing could mean two opposites. Life and death. After being rushed to the hospital in an ambulance, she felt a wave of relief go through her when she saw her husband waiting for her at the entrance. He looked so bewildered and scared, she knew he was very afraid that something wrong would happen to her or the baby. Even though his hair was a mess, the top button on his shirt was undone and he looked like he just saw a ghost, she still thought he was the handsomest man she had ever seen. She couldn't help but smile at him even though the pain was now unbearable. As soon as he saw her he rushed to her side and never left, he stayed there and supported her through the agonizingly long labour. But it was all worth it in the end, the moment the nurse places that beautiful baby girl in her arms she forgot about everything. She was filled with so much joy and love. That night her husband crept into her hospital bed against that nurses' orders and they just lay there silently, admiring their baby girl who was sound asleep in her bassinet. She remembered how his firm chest felt under her head that night and the comfort it brought. How their heartbeats slowed down in harmony until they felt like one. That was the happiest night of her life.
Oh how things changed. Her baby girl was grown up now. She looked at her daughter in the dark hospital room. Her face was only illuminated by the soft light coming from the moon. She was so beautiful and peaceful . Her eyes were closed, but even then she could see the sadness they held. She was once vibrant and energetic, you could almost see the room light up as soon as she walked in, but now she seemed distant thoughts about her mother's illness festering in her mind. She turned away from her daughter, she couldn't bear thinking about the future they won't be able to have together. How she won't have her mother there to help her prepare for her wedding, take care of her kids, listen to her complain about life and just love her unconditionally.
She stared at the ceiling above her. Her hands fell to her sides and she heard the plastic covers crumple under her thin bed sheet, a cruel reminder that she was in this bed alone. She wished he was here, and at the beginning he was. Finding out about her disease brought them back together, maybe because he knew he might lose her. He used to bring her flowers everyday and ask her how she is, hold her when she's sick, try to make her laugh when she felt down, it was like they went back to the relationship they had when they first got married. Like all the yelling and fighting and sleepless nights in between never happened. It gave her hope. He gave her hope. But as the disease spread in her body, he started putting up walls between them again. He never spent the night with her and only visited her for a few hours everyday, like he was a stranger. She never fully understood why he did that. Was it because her full face was replaced with a skeleton-like one and short, white strands replaced her once thick, long auburn hair? Was it because he was afraid that being too close to her would have made loosing her that much harder? But he was her husband! That was his job. For better or for worse, in sickness and in health. She felt betrayed. And just like that, the less she saw him, the less hope she had.
She had a sudden urge to write her thoughts down, and luckily for her there was a notepad and a pen on her bedside table. She hadn't noticed them before, but she guessed they were her daughter's. She slowly picked them up, used the remote to lift the first half of the bed, alongside with her body up into a seated position and pulled her 'dining' table towards her from the edge of her bed.
She didn't know what to write exactly. Why was she writing in the middle of the night anyway? She let out a deep breath, picked up the pen with trembling hands and put her thoughts on paper.
Her daughter woke up the next morning and went to the toilet straight away, like she does everyday. Once she came back to the room, she noticed something strange; her mom was sitting up, but it was too early for her to be awake. As she got closer, she noticed that her lips looked bluer than usual and she hoped it wasn't what she thought it was. At that moment she wanted to run out of that room and get as far away from it as she could, go back to when she was a kid, laying on her mother's warm lap dozing off to her laughs while she was talking to one of her many friends on the phone. She wanted to go back to when her biggest care in the world was how much cookies she could sneak out of the cookie jar without getting caught. Her walk towards her mom's bed seemed to take forever. When she finally got there, she put her hand on her mom's and as their skins touched, a silent tear escaped her eye. At that moment she knew what she feared the most was true, her mom was gone.
She stumbled out of the room and told the nurses what happened. Then she called her dad and did the same. She sat on one of the chairs in the hospital's hallway, and then it hit her. She was never going to hear her mom's voice, see her beautiful face, talk to her, their family was always going to be missing a huge part. If they can even be called a family now that she's gone. She burst into tears.
One of the nurses came up to her and patted her on the back. She handed her a paper and said with a sad smile, "I think she would've wanted you to read this" as she handed her a piece of paper. She recognized her mom's handwriting, even though you could tell she had a hard time writing legibly while her hand was shaking. The letter said:
I don't know who will find this or if anyone will find it, but I had a feeling that I needed to do this. I feel so fragile and weak now, like I'm trapped in someone else's body and I can't get out. I miss how laughing felt, I haven't laughed in what seems like ages because if I did my whole body would ache, it was like a reminder that I had no space for happiness in this life. I love my family to bits. I don't want to leave any of them, even my husband. He's been distant now but I think it's just because he hates saying goodbye. Whoever you are, would you tell him that it's not goodbye? That I will always be with him, if he carries me in his heart. I forgive him. Just tell him to take good care of our beautiful kids, at least I can leave this world knowing that I left 3 amazing people behind. Tell them that their mom will always love them, no matter what. She'll be looking out for them and be right there beside them as they go through the ups and downs of life. Ask them to stick together and take care of each other, like they always do. I am so proud of them and the people they have become. I wish I could stay longer, but it's not my choice. I'm not scared of death, I'm scared about what's going to happen to the life I leave behind. I hope something good comes from this. As for everyone who was there for me and loved me, my mom, my sister, my nieces and nephews and my friends, stay strong. Love always.
The end.
***
I'm facing a similar situation with one of my relatives at the moment, her illness is what inspired the story. She's getting better now and hopefully that'll continue, but I would still like to ask you to pray for her and every other sick person in the world.
The moral of the story is that you never know which day is going to be your or your loved ones' last, so make every moment count, live life to the fullest and make sure the last thing you say to anyone is what you actually mean.
